From People Pleasing to Personal Power

FROM PEOPLE-PLEASING TO POWER:

I know where you are right now.

You're exhausted, but you don’t feel like you’re allowed to be. You give and give until there’s nothing left, and even then, you scrape together whatever remnants remain and hand those over, too. You tell yourself it’s love, that sacrifice is noble, that being “easygoing” and “low-maintenance” makes you more likable, more wanted, more worthy.

But deep down, you feel the weight of it.

You wonder why your needs don’t seem to matter. Why no one ever considers you the way you consider them. Why your friendships, relationships, and even your family connections feel so one-sided. Maybe you’ve told yourself, this is just how I am or this is what love looks like or if I set boundaries, they’ll leave—because that’s what I used to believe, too.

And maybe, beyond the exhaustion, there’s something else.

Maybe you feel resentful but don’t know how to express it. Maybe you’re constantly anxious, overanalyzing every interaction, wondering if you said or did something wrong. Maybe you feel invisible—like people only reach out when they need something, but never just to check on you. Maybe you’re afraid of conflict, so you stay silent even when something feels wrong. Or maybe you don’t even know what you truly want anymore because you've spent so long making sure everyone else is happy first. You might even feel trapped in a cycle of self-betrayal—promising yourself you’ll speak up next time, only to stay quiet again.

For most of my life, boundaries were an impossible concept. Not because I didn’t want them, but because I didn’t believe I was allowed to have them.

The Wounds That Made Boundaries Impossible

I grew up believing that love was something to be earned, not something I inherently deserved. If I was good enough, they would stay. If I was thin enough or pretty enough, I would be noticed. I believed that I could prove my worth and value through my actions, as if love was something I could control. Somewhere along the way, I picked up the narrative that if I wasn’t exactly what someone wanted me to be or told me to be, they would leave. That I had to mold myself into whatever version of me was the most pleasing, the least disruptive, the most worthy of being chosen.

And so, I performed.

I became whoever the person in front of me needed me to be. I shrank myself down, edited out my needs, silenced my feelings, and made myself small so that I would never take up too much space. Because deep down, I believed that if I ever asked for too much, if I ever needed too deeply, if I ever took up any space at all, I would be abandoned. And being abandoned, left behind, or unseen was the worst possible outcome—or so I thought.

And I am sure you can guess how well this worked out—you're probably experiencing the aftereffects yourself, or you wouldn’t be reading this. By abandoning myself completely, I began to lash out at everyone and everything. I resented the world for not showing up for me the way I showed up for them. I felt like it was everyone else’s responsibility to make sure I was happy, healthy, and whole—because that’s what I had done for every person who had ever crossed my path. But that wasn’t true.

They say we are only willing to change when the pain of where we are is greater than the fear of change. It took everything around me collapsing for me to realize that living without boundaries—or any form of self-respect—wasn’t working for me. I learned that when the foundation of every relationship I had was built on a lie (me being/doing/saying whatever was needed to please the person in front of me), it was impossible to expect those relationships to last through any type of storm. Those who left, those who didn’t see my worth—they didn’t leave because I wasn’t enough. They left because they had no idea who I was. And to be honest, neither did I.

The Turning Point: Learning That Boundaries Are Love

The breaking point came when I realized I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I had spent so long being everything for everyone else that I had lost myself completely. And in that rock-bottom moment, I had to ask myself the question that changed everything:

What if I stop trying to be what everyone else wants?

What if I set a boundary? What if I spoke up? What if I let people be uncomfortable with my needs and refused to shrink myself for their comfort? What if I stopped trying to control whether people stayed or left and just… let them?

It was terrifying. And I can't even take credit for this life-changing moment. A close friend told me one day, "You know you can say 'no', right?"—and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was shocked and a little amazed that someone would be so bold. But I looked at her and I looked at myself and I realized that how I was operating was not what I wanted. I wanted to feel how she felt—free to choose, unburdened from the pressures of performing, and confident in herself to say no. So I gave it a try.

The first time I said no. The first time I put myself first. The first time I let a relationship fall away instead of chasing after it. It was gut-wrenching and terrifying and hard. But do you know what else it was?

Liberating.

Because when you stop contorting yourself to fit into spaces you were never meant to be in, something incredible happens—you find the spaces that were meant for you all along.

I had to learn that boundaries are not rejection. They are not ultimatums. They are not walls. Boundaries are an act of radical self-love. They are a declaration that I matter. That I am allowed to exist as I am. That the people meant for me will never require me to abandon myself to keep them.

Your Transformation Starts Here

I know how impossible it feels to believe you are worthy of boundaries. I know how convincing that inner voice is when it tells you that if you set a boundary, you will be left behind. But I also know what’s on the other side of that fear.

And that’s where I come in.

I’ve walked this road, and I can guide you through it. I can help you dismantle the old beliefs that keep you stuck, rewrite the narrative that tells you your needs don’t matter, and build a life where you are no longer at the mercy of everyone else’s expectations.

You are allowed to take up space.

You are allowed to have needs.

You are allowed to say no without guilt.

And you are allowed to build a life that nourishes you.

So if you’re ready to step into that transformation, I’m here to help you do it.

Because I promise you this:

The people meant for you will never require you to abandon yourself to keep them.

If you're ready for the next phase, click here to get scheduled.

If you're still on the fence, that's ok. At least download my guide to boundaries and don't forget the workbook that I have created to go along with it.

See you soon -